Monthly Anniversary

So today is our monthly anniversary. Do u remember pet? I wish u remember. Last night i called u and u said u miss me. Omg i was so happy on that time. Pet i'm afraid to move on. I don't wanna loose u. Can u come back to me? Can u give me a second chance?  I promise imma fix this and imma make u fall to me once again. Pet i wanna confess something. When we're still couple, u used to always get angry with me cause i always forgot our anniversary. Act i'm not. I just want u to wish first cause it shows that u still love me and u remember me. Sorry pet :/ I may look like im getting over you but act i'm not. i do the 2nd twitter acc but i still stalking u. Pet i wish u'll come back to me. And last night, why did u said u're afraid of falling to me back? Everyday i pray for us. I wish u could come back to me again. I'll be waiting for u okay? :) I know i may look desprate but YES, i am desperate of you! Iloveyou :)

For Youuu

<3

Dear sepet, sorry that i promised u imma give u present on midnight but something unexpected happened. My lappy hang and i have to make a new one. Sorry this is all i can do for us. I hope it moves u :) sincerely, your Haiqal. I'm always with u :)

Wonder woman :)

<33

Sayang do u remember this? Okay pretty sure u remember i got sunburned. We went to the parkson cause u saw a tight jeans and u kinda like em. Well at first i'm kinda angry and i was like why do u even want to wear that jeans? It's so tight and people will stare at u'r butt. And then u smile and said tak lah baby trust me okay? i cari yang loose sikit lah okay :) Though i'm still angry but when i look at u'r smile i just can't do anything. Your smile brings me happiness. Iloveyou sisepet comel. I miss you :( I just want u to know that all the reasons why i get angry with u is cause i care about u and i don't wanna loose u. It's not cause i don't love u or I hate u or i'm getting annoyed with u'r petpot. Dear nor adilah, ILOVEYOU

11th Day

11th day and maybe tomorrow is the last day i'm gonna update this blog. Dear Nor adilah binti Mohd Aid, I can't sleep. I can't get rid u out of my mind. Should i meet u tomorrow or shouldn't i? I ask my friend either i should go or not, and he says u should go if u wanna be with her and u shouldn't go if that's makes u even more sad. I miss you and I love you. I wanna be with u. But somehow i can feel that u ain't like me anymore. U have no interest with me anymore :( Should i meet u? Last night i wait for u'r text. U didn't text me when u reached bp even when u'r on the bus. Today i log in my fb and found out that u activate u'r account back. There's still relationship on my page but there's no on u'r page. I can see the result there. And that's why i still doubt should i go or not? I'm afraid i cant handle this. I know act this could happened but the more i'm trying to let u go the more i miss you, the more i think of u. What should i do? But sayang don't worry, I've made my mind that i'm gonna make u happy and i'm giving you present tomorrow. Trust me u'll be happy after we meet :) I know at first u'll treat me harsh? tak percaya? we'll see. I know u well pet :) I know u more than u know u'r self. I guess. So all i need to do is to face tomorrow aight? Iloveyou and Imissyou :)

<3333

This is my wonder woman. Do we look alike? well idk but most of says so. Well i dont see any but my friends do say so :) "peh muka sama siak haiqal dengan awek kau" haha 

Dear sepet, imissyou alot, i know u ain't. i can't stop missing u and i can't tell u. So i'm gonna write here. May i? Pet oh pet remember we used to snap picture together with u'r laptop? hehe i come to u'r place and we hang together there. Awkward, that's my first time i'm so close to other's family. Along, ibu, lukman they are all nice and bapak too. But i'm kinda scared with bapak so i don't talk much with him. hihi. Sincerely until now i'm thinking how did i ever get u? U know i'm kinda shy and i don't usually talk to girls aight? But we talk alot when we first met at mk. And u watched me eat so i have to control macho -_- and then i ask "tak makan ke"? and then u replied "taknak lah nak tengok u makan je" haha that's so sweet of u. Hey sepet remember this? U used to say this, I'm gonna order food but i'm not gonna eat. U'r too thin so u have to eat my food so that u can gain u'r weight -_- not cool. But then u'll gonna eat my food cause u always say "eee lapar lagi tak kenyang". U know u'r cute in many ways :) from the first time we met, i fall for u. U stole my heart well i don't mind. Keep it sayang :) Hey hey sayang remember this? The first time i call u. I look like a psycho right? I was so shy to talk to u but i really wanna hear u'r voice. I'm at genting or cameron on that time. I call u and i say "hoi pergi tidur lah budak" then i hang up. Haha did u scared of me? Please don't i just don't know how to show my feelings towards the person i love. Sincerely i plan alot to do with u, but when i meet u i'm just too shy to do those things. I used to plan on propose u with candle and flower but when i met u i just couldn't do that. Too shy. fail! -_- and and remember this? i used to tell u "i hug u nak?" and then u said "hug lah, u bukan suka hug i kuat2". I want to but i'm too shy. Dear nor adilah binti mohd aid. Everyday i pray for us. I hope we can be together again and then i wanna show u how much i love you. I wanna do all those things i plan without any hesitate. I wont be shy anymore. I wanna do those things. I wish i could turn back time and do those things i plan to u. There's so many other things i wanna do with u but i cant tell u. Imma keep it as secret. One day if we'll get back together imma do all those things :) Iloveyou and Imissyou sepet. Sincerely, Your Haiqal 

10th Day

10th day. Today i am very very the happy cause u treat me so nice last night until i call u back. U called me and ask random things to me like we used to. Don't know what we talk but still talk. Remember i used to sleep when we're on call hihi, and the next day u'll potpet to me. Today i call u and
me : hello
you: emm. nak apa?
me : err takda nak tanya dah sampai ke belum
you: dah kat bustand ni kejap lagi gerak kot
me : oh okay good girl. I nak tengok pb ni
you: oh okay. so?
me : takda i nak u wish i goodluck lah.
you: oh okay goodluck
me : okay. if pb i baik i kasitahu and if not it's otherwise
you: okay
me : so nanti dah gerak u kasitahu i okay?
you: huh? kenapa?
me : eh? kenapa? saja je nak tahu
you: kenapa nak tahu?
me : err we're friends right? ( act i wanna say cause i'm your bf but i'm scared u might get annoyed)
you: kawan kena tahu ke?
me : hey kan u dah promise i'm your best friend?
you: best friend i tak tahu pun kenapa u nak tahu?
me : i best friend lain lah
you: jangan lah macam ni. boleh tak?
me : oh okay2 then. so gimme a text if u already on the bus. and if u want to lah.
you: eermmm
me : well okay then. take care okay? bye
you: bye
Why did u change so quick? Yesterday u was like so nice to me. But today? What happened? May i know? It's like u give me hope last night and then u take it back today. Why? Do u know how much the pain is? Well take care there okay? Be safe please. Idk if i'm going to meet u or not this friday. I'm afraid i might break my heart again. But i wanna see u so bad. I wanna talk to u so bad. I wanna see u'r face so bad :( Idk
ILOVEYOU nor adilah binti mohd aid :)

My Mak Kiah :) 

Sayang do u remember this? I just got back from botak i think and i was like "Rosham nor" haha. U keep on playing my hair and u said "eeee best nya main kepala botak, botak je lah baby" haha. Remember i always scold u when u'r playing with my hair? I used to tell u that "oi rambut ni susah setting taw" Remember? well now i miss u playing with my hair :( I don't care about my hair anymore. Sayang i wanna tell u, though u look like mak kiah but u'r still the most beautiful girl i've ever seen even shila hamzah can't beat u. Trust me! I miss your smile, i miss we smile together, laughing like crazy though it's not even that funny. hihi Are u happy with me all the time pet? I know i used to get angry at u often. I regret that. I wanna be happy with u together, i wanna make u happy all the time. I miss us holding hands together :( can i hold u'r hand when we're going out this friday or saturday? I miss u'r smell. I wanna be close to u again. Please don't leave me. I'm afraid of being alone. I wanna be with u :( I'm going to wait for u even forever. I don't care if anyone else said i'm stupid or whatever. All i want is to be with u. Sincerely, your Haiqal:)

9th Day

9th day after u left me. Do u count sayang? Well i do. 9 days for me is like 9 years. Imissyou alot. I miss the way we talk to each other, kidding with each other, calling u sepet and u call me sepet back and then we fought  hihi. 2 days left till u come back to bp :) I cant wait. Do u read my blog or do we think the same? U call me today. U know when i look at the phone and found that u call me, i was like screaming like a total maniac. hihi i am so sosososososo happy u call me and i get nervous. hihi I go outside and pick up the phone and we talk to each other nicely :) 

you: hello

me : err hello. kenapa ni? 

you: takda apa saja je

me : ye ye je. kenapa? cakap lah 

you: takda apa lah ishh!

me : hahah okay2. so how's life? 

you: okay je. u macamana? okay?

me : macamani je lah

you: macam ni tu macamana? nangis lagi ke? 

me : taklah pet. u ingat i macam u ke gembeng asik nangis je. haha (acting like a hero) 

you: eleh haritu i call u nangis

me : haritu i gaduh dengan heidzer lah pet (coverline cemerlang)

you: hmmm u tak study ke? 

me : nanti lah kejap lagi i study.

you: tak study habis buat apa ni? 

me : takda apa duduk2 je. pergi lah study pet jangan malas2 okay?

you: malas lah. mengantuk

me : eeeee pemalas dari dulu sampai sekarang pemalas punya budak. pet oh pet

you: pet? omg i love the nicks and i miss the nicks

me : ye? serious? (i am so happy u said that it almost makes me cry. imissyou)

you: yah 

me : i ingat nak call u tadi, tapi i takut u marah, i stalk tweet u tengok u taknak pergi class lah banyak probs lah.

you: call lah, oh haritu i tengah serabut lah 

me : okay! :) 

you: haiqalll

me : yee?

you: haiqal. i takut i buat wrong decision? 

me : uh? about what? 

you: about us lah. about now

me : hmmm fikir lah masak2 fikir betul2 okay. semua ada hikmahnya tu (bajet2 strong) 

you: haiqal, i jahat kan?

me : no, u'r not. jangan lah panggil u jahat okay? well act u jahat sikit lah. hihih 

you: i know. sorry. what if i made the wrong decision? 

me : no worries. i kan ada. i'll be wait for u okay? :) 

you: i ni jahat lah. kenapa nak tunggu?

me : sebab i know i can't find anyone like u. and i dah decide u bini i :)

you: hmm. so kita ni macamana? 

me : macamana? macamana apa? 

you: us? kita ni friends or apa? 

me : ikut u lah pet. tapi if ikut i we're still couple. hehe 

you: i pun rasa macam tu

me : *speechless ( u don't how i feel. i am very very very the happy when u said that)  

you: haiqal i takut i made the wrong decision. u rasa dia baik tak? 

me : mana i nak tahu i tak stalk dia pun lagi -_- (bajet romeo again) 

you: hmmm okaylah haiqal. i nak study ni esok ada quiz 

me : okay good! gogogo study jangan malas2 

you : okay. night. bye 

me : bye bye bye 

you: hihih 

me : hihi night 

As i'm trying to move on, trying to accept the truth, trying to forget u, u give me back hope. Do u still love me? Do u miss me? Do u ever think of me? Have i ever crossed u'r mind? I'm scared of loosing u and i'm afraid of hurting for the 2nd time. I'm not that strong like i sound :( Nor adilah binti mohd aid ILOVEYOU.

Could u give me a 2nd chance and i'll show u'll never regret. There are so many things i've planned to do with u but i haven't done with u. Nor adilah binti mohd aid u'r the best thing i ever had. ILOVEYOU

8th Day

Its the 8th day. How are u doing today? Seems like u'r having problem. i was thinking about give u a call but i'm afraid u might get angry with me. Oi sepet take care of u'r self will u? Don't make me worried about u okay? I'm trying to move on here, so don't make me worried or else imma stuck with u forever! *evil laugh. I cant wait for this friday or saturday. Going out with u, act like nothing happened. No worries, i promise u'll be happy on that day. Trust me i know u well sepet. Can i call u sepet? Where are we going on that day? hmm to many plans stuck on my head atm. Trust me that day when we go out, u'll treat me harshly, u'll not going to talk to me just like we did before, u wont smile to me and then imma give u the present. By that u'll gonna cry and smile to me. This is what i plan. Idk if it's gonna turn up like this but i really hope so. And i wish i could spend more time with u, but i'm gonna have my exam, umi and abah sure gonna potpet if i'm going out everyday. Nor adilah could u be my best friend? I'd love to take care of u though u'r not my wife anymore. I hope we can text to each other like we used to tweet to each other and kidding with each other like we used to :) I miss your voice. Can i call u? Asking about u? I don't care what are we going to talk, i just wanna talk to u. As a friend no worries :) Imma try call u tomorrow and i hope u'll not going to be mad at me :) take care there nor adilah. Looking forward to meet u

7th Day

It's the 7th day. Today u call me on the early morning. I am very happy till idk what to do and i ain't pick up the phone. I am so nervous. So i call u back and u sounds very very happy. I thought we're okay now. I miss u alot like no one know. I cried hearing u'r beautiful voice, u'r cute voice, u'r cheeky voice. And then we talk

me : err hello

you: hello 

me : err u call ke? (stupid question) 

you: yah

me : err kenapa u call? ada apa2 ke? (hoping u'll say imissyou)

you: erm i nak tanya ni

me : sure go ahead tanya lah 

you: erm umi tahu tak pasal kita ni?

me : pasal kita? pasal apa? 

you: pasal kita and pasal i ni 

me : umi tahu kita gaduh sebab i nangis dengan umi tapi umi ingat kita gaduh macam tu je lah 

you: oh okay janganlah kasitahu umi okay?

me : okay. i will so how's life? imissyou *tears falling 

you: okay je. u?

me : okay je macam ni je lah. nanti u balik? nak meet? 

you: balik. okay je ikut u je. hey jangan lah nangis okay?

me : mana ada nangislah pet

you: dah lah jangan lah nangis for me. i ni jahat

me : no u'r not. Dah mandi belum? 

you: belum. hehe

me : tak pergi class ke? 

you: takda class harini. Okay lah i nak study ni ada test 

me : okay lah go study okay pet. good luck *errr

you: okay bye. *tutt tutt tutt 

within this week this is u'r first time u treat me well though it only for 10 - 20 seconds. I thought u miss me, u remember me. But then i sign in my fb and found out we're not in relationship anymore :( and then i stalk ur tweet "bbm tak delivered lagi :(" I was like been shot. Idk what to do what to say. I started to cry. It's really painful. Now i realize that it's not cause of me u'r happy, it's not cause u remember me u called and it's not u think about me. It's about him :( Umi heard me crying. She come and calm me down. I cried with umi till i fall asleep. And then i went to watch movie (battleship) doesn't attract my interest. Sit down there and think about u. What are u doing? Are u going out with him? Now i'm at batu pahat but still i cant forget u. How am i supposed to not think about u when i'm at merlimau? At night i stalk u'r twitter again and i saw u seems happy with him. U called u'r self "orang". hihi kinda cute. But it breaks my heart. I rather to be shot than seeing this. But it seems like u'r happy at least. So i feel happy for u to even i'm kinda jealous and sad. But seeing u happy makes me happy :)  U know i feel like i wanna go there and beat the guy ass. But i remembered that u said "i tak suka u gaduh2 okay haiqal" I don't care bout anyone said fighting for a girl or anything but all i think is u. So i wont. I guess. Act what is our relationship now? Are we break up yet? We ain't aight? Idk :( so study hard sayang and do your best okay on your study. Jia you sayang. ILOVEYOU can't wait till u get back :s I wish this week gonna go fast. IMISSYOU ILOVEYOU

6th Day

It's the 6th day. Today i wake up late again and i almost missed my math class and my quiz. It's because i lost my alarm potpet clock that is you. What time do u wake u today? Are u late again? Cause u're always complain to me u're always late. Are u doing fine today sayang? Do u miss me? Or u hate me? Today i just realize something that i'm not the only one hurting but u too. I'm sorry sayang but i don't wanna loose u. I'll promise to fix us. Turn to the old us, the sweet sepet couple. But can i? It's like u don't have any interest to me anymore. I know u hate me, I'm sorry :( I have a plan but i won't tell u. I'm gonna tell u on this saturday to make u happy. I'm pretty sure that u'll be happy. Trust me. If not please kick me hard on my balls. I stalk u'r tweet today and seems like u have problem. "kenapa mesti jadi macam ni? :(" What happened sayang? I wanna ask u either if u're okay but i know its not the best time for me to ask. I wanna ask u to go out with me on saturday. Will u go out with me on saturday? Somehow i have the strong feeling that u ain't wanna go out with me :( What time do u sleep today? Have u eaten? Eat well okay sepet, if not u'll be too thin :( Sayang just now i found our photo in my wallet. The photo we snap at your place. We both together, the one that i always keep in my wallet. Do u still have em sayang? Our pengapit's day photo? Remember u used to tell me that if we be the pengapit and our fate together will be stronger, and u said if i don't wanna be the pengapit u'll find someone else to be the pengapit. And then i was like noooooooo! i wanna be the pengapit even idk how to be the pengapit. Seriously i look funny on that day. Idk how to act. Zul's mom even get angry with me. Sorry :( sayang, did i ever crossed u'r mind? What should i do to grab ur heart back? I'm so nervous to wait for this saturday. Sayang u have to take care there okay? i've been waiting for u'r text and call everyday, every seconds :( This world is so unfair. IOVEYOU so much. Why don't u love me back? Why did u change so fast? :(  sayang u know? Now i solat 5 times a day and i ain't miss to pray for us :) Do u pray for us too? I hope u do so :) goodnight sayang. Sleep well. ILOVEYOU <3

5th Day

so it's the 5th day already. I'm staying alone and i can't stop thinking of u. Are u thinking of me to? I ain't done my test just now and it was like the final test :( I hate when i started to think of u and the tears will not stop falling. I know u went out with that guy just now. I'm so jealous. How i wish we could spend our time together. U know i was thinking of going there when my semester break and meeting u, spending the time with u, bring u to my friend's wedding. How i wish i could show off my gorgeous future wife :) but looks like its never gonna happened :( Are u sleeping already? Tomorrow u still have the modul aight? Go get some good rest or else u'll gonna get old fast. U know i was thinking i wanna make u happy. But idk how to make u happy. I was alone and i was thinking i don't wanna loose u but if u'r staying with me u'll never be happy like we used to. I hate seeing u sad. So i was thinking should i let u go? All i can do now is pasrah and hope that u'll remember the memories we used to go through together, and the plan we used to dream of. I hope u'll gonna come back to me. Everytime i thinking of let u go, i cried. I just cant think other guy holding u'r hands, hugs u, tilt u'r chin. I just cant :( Do u still love me? What should i do? I wanna make u happy yet i don't wanna loose u :( Idk which one should i do. I'm afraid of doing the wrong thing :( Take care there and be safe. ILOVEYOU

4th Day

So its the forth day and i guess today is the most painful day for me. Today u changed u'r fb password and u ask him to delete his blog so i cant stalk anymore. And u changed u'r twitter :/ where are u? i miss you. I wanna talk to you. You know i cried out loud just now calling umi, and umi was like why are u crying -_- Today i called u again and u seems doesn't like it. It seems like u'r getting annoyed with me. Everyday, every seconds i try to find what i did wrong to you. Why did u turn to this. Why did u'r love changes quickly? Well i know u have u'r own reason. I know u. U'r one of a kind. I never found someone like u before. U take care of u'rself well. Baby right now i think i can't do anything. Seems like u'r going away from me :( Baby what should i do? I want u to be mine forever. I don't wanna loose u :( I would do anything to get u back. I would beg to that guy if i had to u back :( I wanna meet u. I miss the way u smile. I miss the voice calling me haiqal. "haiqal jangan degil boleh tak?" u always said this to me. I never imagine that one day i'll miss this voice :/ Imiss when u said Iloveyou I miss when u said Imissyou. What happened to us? What's the reason? May i know the reason why'd u change this quick? we've been together for 4 years and how did u change too fast? I know there must be a reason. Am i the reason? I ain't treat u well? Would u tell me please? Don't leave me hanging :/ I miss you. I feel like going there but i'm afraid u'll get mad and don't wanna meet me. I wanna hug u, I wanna hold u tight. Remember u used to tell me that u love when i hug u tight but i'm kinda shy to hug u. Well i regret it now. There's so many things left i wanna do with u. Gimme a chance and i wont make u regret. But u know, i think all i can do right now is pasrah and give u time and pray to god that u'll realize about our 4 years of memories. "Ya Allah dekatkanlah jodohnya dengan ku" i do pray for us everytime i pray. Udk aight? Sayang, i know the only thing that u ain't remove our relationship is cause of u'r family aight? But it's alright cause at least i can feel that u still love me even abit. And the name on your about me. Oh and the pict in the car u used to candid me -_-. baby just my friend call her gf and they laugh together, i miss the time we used to kidding together. ILOVEYOU :(

I <3 YOU 

Sayang, remember this? i miss the time when we were this close. Its like the world is ours and just only u and i in this world. Its like the world is just for us :) but it was once a memory and there's nothing left. We're like the sweetest couple ever. Remember that we used to talk that we're gonna have babies and the babies sure will be sepet cause u and i are both sepet and remember ibu used to call us the sepet's couple. I never told u this but actually i sort of like it. What are doing now? Have u sleep yet? i cant sleep :/ Hey remember this? i used to tell u that when we're married i'm pretty sure that i cant sleep. First cause u'r gonna ask me to rub u'r back and the 2nd cause i'm not gonna be able to close my eyes cause there's a totally gorgeous wonderful woman in front of me and i'm not blink my eyes to look at that woman and that is u. Remember this sayang? I hope when u read this u'll remember our sweet memories. ILOVEYOU

3rd Day

Its the third day and i cant stop missing you. I'm waiting for your call since morning. I cant stay far from you too long. I've been thinking since morning where are u going. I stalked your fb and twitter but seems like u ain't online. Been wondering where have u been? Where were u? I cried when i bath, i still cant sleep and i dont have the mood to eat. I stalked u'r fb since morning till night. Idk what to do without u. My life seems worthless. I cant do anything. Tomorrow i have an important test and the next day to. I cant study what should i do? I stalked u'r fb and i found something. I guess the guy and u'r like each other. And then i was like a crazy people. i walked to the front and back. I cant lay down quietly and i cant even sit. And then i called u, i thought ur gonna be happy and missed me but it turns u seems don't wanna hear my voice. Its breaks my heart but i'm not in the situation to complain about it :/ i hate my self cause i cant forget u. I'm afraid of loosing you. I don't know what to do. U ask me to stay away from u to give u some time, but i'm scared that u'll fall to that guy when i'm not with u. Baby please don't go :/ I LOVE YOU so much. I love u more than everything :/ please i beg u. What should i do? I was thinking to go there but i'm afraid that u ain't gonna see me and ask me to go home. What should i do? Who am i supposed to ask? U know without u i feel like i don't have anyone else. Act it breaks my heart when u say u like that guy and he likes u back :/ Why did u like him? What did he got that i ain't? What makes him more special? What u want me to do to make u like me back? I dont know what to do :/ This saturday my friend gonna get married, and i think that i wanna go there and bring u back to go to the wedding, but it seems like not gonna happen :/ Baby could u tell me how to make you fall in love again with me? Don't u remember the promise we made together? U said u ain't gonna leave me no matter what happen and i said the same thing to u. Why did u do this to me? Why?  ILOVELOVEYOU awak. I planned that after this if we'll get back to normal us like before and im gonna ask umi to go meminang, or at least we gonna bertunang first. I can't afford to loose you. ILOVEYOU

2nd Day

And this is my 2nd day without you :/ baby i miss you alot. Today i cried again i missed my class again. U used to wake me up in the morning or else ur gonna potpet on my ears. I miss those potpet :/ How are u doing today? I stalked your fb and your twitters but seems like u aint online for today. Been wondering all day what are u doing and are u doing well. Tomorrow's holiday and the next day u dont have class. so what's your plan? Wish u will have a nice holiday. Sayang do u still love me? i act until now still remember the time i asked u
U
me:  baby do u still love me?
you: honestly idk
me:  udk? what do u mean udk?
you: act i dont know if i still love you or im sympathy of u
me:  what? sympathy? of what?
you: i know u love me alot and that's why i keep this as a secret cause i dont wanna break your heart. your to good for me.
me  : do u still love me?
*silent
me  : baby please answer me, do u still love me?
you : idk. please dont force me
*tears falling
How i wish that i could have u again. Idk right now if i can still wait for u. Honestly i dont have any interest anymore with any girls out there. U're the most beautiful person i've meet and u're the best thing i ever had. U know i was thinking to go there and proposed u yet but i remember that u said u cant even imagine that we'll gonna be together. U cant see the future of us getting married. Hmm i'm crying again. Sorry but i love you more than myself. I cant live without u. Are u sleeping already by now? I wish we could be together again :) iloveyou and imissyou alot. Sincerely, your secret admire. Goodnight awak. I hope u live well

The 1st day

After we hang up the phone i cried out loud. Afraid that my housemate awake and saw im crying, i took for a walk around my place from 3.30 to 6.15. i tried to sleep but every time i close my eyes i saw you. I saw the old us, I mean memories. This is my first time i felt the most terrible pain and cant stop crying. i used to set alarm at 5 a.m. When i was walking the alarm sounds and the tone is the same as the ringtone. I thought it might be you and i was happy for a moment until i noticed that it is just the alarm call. When i reached home, I bath and get ready for class. There's 2 tests and a quiz today. its not like i dont want to do the test but i cant event think of anything. I sat alone on that day away form all my classmates. i dont like talking to anyone. Everyone noticed and asked me but i just answered im sleepy. You know? i used to like sleep alone but now im scared of being alone. I cant sit alone or else im gonna cry. I tried not to think about it but i just cant :/ what should i do? i am so scared that u'll fall to someone else but idk somehow that u already have someone else and u're afraid to tell me or may be because of sympathy. My class ended at 6.30 today. My friend ask me to come and drink with him. We sit down and talk to each other and then suddenly u come out of my head. Tears starts falling. I tried not to cry but i just couldnt. I look down afraid that my friend will notice im crying. At first i manage to stop crying but after that u came again and im crying again. Omfg i must be look terrible. the akak there looked at me and like, errr what happened. i paid and i just walked to my place. i have night class and its a agama islam test. I took a bath and im start crying again in the toilet :/ I love you and I Miss you. You're the best i ever had i swear. Now i just finished my assignment. i guess this assignment only take 30 minutes to finish but i do it for 4 hours cause i stalk your twitter every seconds. Phathetic am i? I miss you and i dont know what to do. I wanna be with you forever ever and now im crying again :/ every minutes every seconds im thinking what are u doing. Are u doing fine? Are u thinking of me? I stalk your fb and i saw we're still in relationship. I was sooo happy. Tomorrow all my housemate's class are noon while im at 8 a.m. I used to have a cutie angry alarm clock which is u. Now i dont have it anymore im afraid im not going to wake up on time. Well this is my first day missing u. Sleep tight and sweet dream "awak" :) goodnight *pray hard we're gonna be together back :)